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Sugar baby woman and sugar daddy man laugh in a cloudy aura as if in a dream, they look very excited, they are delulu.
If you’ve been on TikTok, Instagram, or X for a while, you’ve seen the refrain: delulu is the solulu. The phrase that plays with “delusional” and “solution” jumped from K-pop fandoms into almost any conversation about dating, work, and self-esteem. In essence, delulu is used humorously or ironically to describe unrealistic fantasies someone embraces with blind faith… sometimes to motivate themselves, sometimes to laugh at themselves.
In sugar dating, the word has found fertile ground: it promises sparkle, shortcuts, and fairytale endings; but, if not managed, it also brings costly disappointments. There are delulu sugar babys as well as delulu sugar daddys, this term includes both. In this article we explain what delulu is, why it became a trend, how it works in relationships with sugar daddys, and above all, how to use its spark without lifting your feet off the ground.
What is “delulu,” where does it come from and why is it related to sugar relationships
Delulu is the playful shortened form of “delusional,” widely used by GenZ sugar babys. It is internet slang that spread first into online dating in general and then into sugar dating, with a comic wink at self-illusion. This neologism first circulated in K-pop fandoms, where fans labeled their own fantasies with their idols as “delulu.” Later, the term jumped into general TikTok slang and into scenes like sugar dating.
The ‘mantra’: delulu is the solulu sums up the idea that believing it wholeheartedly can attract what you desire (or at least give you the confidence to try).
In his thesis on internet slang, researcher Lukáš Hýža recalls two very useful points: “The term ‘delulu’ is a shortened version of the word delusional.” And, on the speed with which these words change: “Brainrot terminology keeps expanding every day as new trends constantly appear.”
Hýža also documents the slogan delulu is the solulu as a meme that equates being “delusional” with a key to happiness (always in a playful tone). He also notes that its peak in Google Trends came around November 2023, after growing since September of that year.
You can read: the full thesis if you wish Examining Brainrot Terminology in the Online Environment.
In popular figures: on TikTok the hashtag #delulu has accumulated more than six billion in recent headlines.
“Delulu” and sugar dating: when fantasy steps on the accelerator
In dates with sugar daddys, delulu often describes unrealistic expectations about the relationship, commitment, or benefits. The examples repeat:
- Believing that a casual arrangement will end in marriage or stable cohabitation “like any romantic couple.”
- Assuming exclusivity without talking about it, just because “we’re doing great” or “he treats me special.”
- Ignoring red flags (inconsistencies, vague promises, blurred boundaries) for economic benefits or for the emotional high.
Here delulu doesn’t mean “being crazy” or “being irrational” by default. Rather it is giving more weight to fantasy: projecting what you would like over what was really agreed. But when that filter alters decision-making and affects your well-being, it ceases to be a cute joke.
Signs that things are going into “delulu mode”
- You interpret gestures of kindness or generosity as romantic love.
- You make long-term plans based on ambiguous promises or silences.
- You avoid defining the relationship for fear that reality will not match your ideal.
- You deny (or postpone) conversations about boundaries, exclusivity, and expectations.
- You rationalize inconsistencies (“he’s busy,” “he doesn’t use his phone,” “work prevents him…”), despite evidence to the contrary.
And why do so many of us fall into it?
The very architecture of networks sometimes reinforces the dream, also some sugar dating platforms use sensationalism and idealization irresponsibly. Hýža’s work on “brainrot” — overexposure to short and addictive content — notes that infinite scrolling triggers dopamine peaks and fosters the cycle of checking notifications, even at the expense of mental clarity.
Many sugar relationships start online and are narrated as microdramas on TikTok and Instagram. It’s easy to see clips where someone receives luxurious gifts or recounts perfect idylls. That showcase, sometimes skewed, can make someone who is just starting raise the bar with delusional expectations.
The good, the bad and the delulu: is it really “the solution”?
The “vitamin” side
The light version of the mantra — “believe it a little more” — can have psychological benefits:
- Confidence to ask for what you want, negotiate clear agreements or cut off when you don’t get them.
- Antidote against the “impostor syndrome”: that fear of “not being enough” that makes many women undervalue their worth in negotiations (of couple and of work). Media like Fortune highlighted how this mentality pushes you to apply for positions and better sell your abilities, something that “historically men have done more boldly.”
- Resilience in couple crises: therapist Carlos García explains that the conviction that you can improve a relationship increases the effectiveness with which you act. It’s not magic, he says; it’s neurochemistry and aligned behavior.
The swampy side
When delulu becomes daily self-deception:
- Emotional exhaustion arrives, ghosting (for pushing scripts the other party never accepted), bad agreements and money losses for not controlling finances as a sugar baby.
- Dependence on validation peaks (messages, gifts, promises) sprouts and tolerance for waiting drops.
- Cognitive dissonance appears: you need to rewrite signals so they don’t disprove your story (“he didn’t answer because…”, “he didn’t come because…”).
The key, then, is not to demonize delulu, but to tame it: turn that spark of faith into useful self-affirmation, without skipping reality.
How to be delulu in sugar dating and make it work in your favor
- Define the agreement in writing (yes, in writing)
It doesn’t have to be a contract signed but it should remain in your Telegram or WhatsApp messages. What it includes, what it doesn’t include, frequency, exclusivity, discretion, economic/experiential support, contact channels and reviews. A short text (an email or shared note on the phone) prevents “remembering differently.” - Check your assumptions
Although some relationships become stable and even move from sugar dating to marriage, before jumping from “he told me ‘you deserve the world’” to “he will pay for my wedding”:
- What objective evidence do you have?
- What has materialized so far?
- What has been declined or postponed repeatedly?
- Distinguish gesture, pattern and promise
A gesture can be tender; a pattern is already reliable; a promise must be crystal clear (what, when, how). - Open and periodic communication
Set check-ins (biweekly or monthly). Three questions are enough:
- What is working?
- What needs to be adjusted?
- What boundaries must we reinforce?
- Emotional safety plan
Define soft limits (negotiable) and hard limits (non-negotiable). Prepare a dignified exit if they are crossed: “If X happens Y times, I pause the relationship and close if it repeats.” - Financial and network independence
Whether sugar baby or daddy, keeping own income, savings and social network reduces the risk of giving in for fear of losing; remember that many women have gone very high without sugar dating or a scholarship, and it’s not necessary if you are not enjoying it. - Ask your environment for “reality checks”
A couple of friends (or a private community) who know your agreement and dare to tell you: “you are delulu here.”
Typical cases of “delulu” in sugar dating (and how to redirect them)
- “We are exclusive”
Delulu signal: it was never talked about; only vague phrases like “I don’t like sharing.”
Landing: “For me, exclusivity means X. Is that so for you? If not, I prefer to agree on it in Y.” - “He will leave his life for me”
Delulu signal: future plan without dates, without observable changes today.
Landing: ask for concrete milestones (“in 30 days you will cancel A and in 60 you will talk to B”; if it doesn’t happen, adjust expectations). - “He feels the same for me without the arrangement”
Delulu signal: confusing attraction/affection with love without agreement.
Landing: if that fantasy is vital for you, change the type of relationship; if not, continue with the rules of the agreement. - “The luxuries of the feed will also be for me”
Delulu signal: extrapolating viral stories to your case.
Landing: return to the contract. What is not agreed is not assumed.
Anti-delulu checklist for sugar daddys and sugar babys
- Clear purpose: What do I seek (company, mentoring, support, experiences)?
- Explicit expectations: What do I offer and what do I receive, with red lines?
- Progress metrics: If we say “quarterly trip,” which, when, with what budget?
- Fixed review: 30/60/90 days with possibility of adjusting or closing.
- Active warning signs: evasions, promises postponed in loop, excessive control, triangulations (“I tell you what makes you jealous to hook you”).
- Plan B: that your well-being does not depend on the yes of the other person.
Conclusion: laugh at the meme, enjoy the sparkle… but negotiate in HD
“Being a little delulu” can give you courage to ask for what you deserve, soften the impostor’s voice and break ceilings. In sugar dating, that same spark helps you negotiate clean agreements and leave those that don’t care for you. The problem is not dreaming: it is driving with closed eyes.
Use delulu as confidence fuel, not as a map. Define the path with facts, boundaries and reviews. And when the heart races, ask yourself: am I enjoying an innocent fantasy… or projecting something that doesn’t exist? That micro-check will save you disappointments and allow you to build more stable, fair and happy relationships.
Frequently asked questions about delulu
Examples: “he’s the one” after two meetings; taking for granted benefits that were not agreed; expecting sex/periodic commitments without serious conversations.
This type of sugar baby seeks a mentor and professional support. An ideal sugar daddy for her should have experience, connections in the work world and be willing to offer her guidance and advice for her career.
No. In small doses, it can increase your confidence (ask, negotiate, close). In excess, it leads to disappointment and bad decisions.
Quick self-check: am I ignoring actions? Am I making excuses to justify gaps? Am I expecting change without new agreements? If yes, stop and recalibrate.
Clear expectations + open communication + boundaries. Work with verifiable milestones and periodic reviews. Keep emotional and financial independence.
From “delusional” (shortened to delulu) and popularized by K-pop and TikTok. The slogan delulu is the solulu boosted it; in 2023 it was already high on Google Trends, and today the hashtag accumulates billions of views.
